Coffee and Rum

Otherwise know as, The Difference Between On-Line and Reality.

One of the more curious parts of life on the internet is the fact that we get a chance to stand out on the merits of our minds and personalities first, before people ever see our faces. We get to know, respect and admire people without even learning their gender, skin color, or age. For the good people who want to interact with other good people, this is a really nifty thing. For the bad people, that's a different post on Mask Syndrome.

On-line as in Real Life we all try to stand out. Our habits and personality traits tend to become more focused and sharper, since we don't have the softening edges of body language or outside stimuli to distract from what we're saying. If your personality is naturally abrasive or sarcastic you find that it doesn't always translate well. Equally, people who are shy and not self-promoting often vanish into the background in an online social setting.

My own observation is that since humans like labels it's easier to remember one or two personality points about them on-line and, if you like those points, open yourself up for a more in depth relationship. Moving from Acquaintance to On-Line Friend to Real World Friend can happen very quickly, slowly, or not at all, depending on the basic original points of communication. If the first interaction someone has with you is unpleasant to them, you have little or no chance of ever moving beyond that first impression without changing your handle. In that respect, it is easier to live down a bad first contact on-line but it's not guaranteed.

Once upon a time, I used to drink a lot. Every night I'd crawl into at least one bottle of wine or more. I'd lost my job, my kid hated me, I failed in everything I put my hand to. I hated myself, but when I drank I didn't have to notice how much I sucked. In fact, I could blame all my bad behaviors on the booze. How easy and convenient!

Of course when I drank I could stay up very, very late indeed. That meant that I required a pot of coffee to make it through the next day, so I could drink again. Coffee only works for so long though before your body gets used to it.

I had mentioned in passing to a friend I regularly drank with that I wasn't going to drink sodas anymore. They're really bad for you and it wouldn't hurt me to cut the extra sugar out of my diet. He laughed at me, reminding me of all the other things I put into my body on a regular basis. I hate having my logical inconsistencies pointed out, particularly when I'm feeling so self-righteously healthy. Most people do I believe.

Since then I've learned moderation. I try to limit my drinking to one or two glasses of wine a week and I'm down to a single cup of coffee per day. But all the people I met on-line don't know that. They met me when I reveled in excess and there's very little I can do to convince them that I don't actually swim in barrels of rum every day.

There are worse faces to show the world, but I still feel a little pang when I'm reminded of how very foolish I can be. Moderation may not be a very clever way to get people's attention on-line, but perhaps I've had all the attention I need for now.